C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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