I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
