Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
