Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize