Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
