3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
He kissed a someone with a penis
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
We need to get me chipped asap
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
