Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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