Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Randomize
