smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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