I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
