I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
