You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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