I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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