what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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