i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
