So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
you never un-have a 4some
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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