I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
