hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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