no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
