her vagine was all disorganized.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Randomize