i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
