Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
