his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize