I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
