She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
