Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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