Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
