yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize