Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Randomize
