Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I deserve this hangover.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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