Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
