now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Randomize
