I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize