party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
