My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
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