I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
