He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
