I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My pussy is not your playground.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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