Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
this beer tastes like vomit already
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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