Kareoke will never be a sober sport
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
