you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
