I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Who died my cat blue again?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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