Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
