I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's blow job season.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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