just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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