Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
