I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
