Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
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