He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
