Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
