I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
