I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
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