god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
