I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
