Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize