I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Michael Bay diarrhea
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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