HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Randomize
