Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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