Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
