My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
