He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize
